Fun fact: I have been utterly disturbed about the things I should be writing in life topics like this because I’m still in a state of finding out my own true happiness in life and whatnot, honestly, but we’ll get through that in the later part of this crucially complicated topic: are you successful now?
Clearly, we’ve all been wondering the very same question above and it kinda sucks how we don’t even know what true success is, but as we go along with waking up and going to work routine, we probably know that earning hard is a bit of success, you know, when you treat yourself a one-hour massage at the spa, or that sophisticated coffee at a famous cafe, or when you can give a little financial help to your family. I guess you can call it “success” when we get the things we didn’t normally get back when we’re still starting the new job, but now that we have been working so ardously for years now and we’re still getting the same old success, should it be worrying to know that we are not improving?
Walking the middle path
For sure, most of us now are in our late 20s or early 30s, but why are we still working morning to night when our college friends are out there, smelling the Amsterdam flowers or getting that Eiffel tower stain on their hands while you’re still stuck in your clumsy bed and sharing dog photos on Facebook? I’m not trying to downgrade achievements of some sort, but reality hits so hard when you compare other’s successful lives to yours: they’re more successful than you are. Thing is, when we see people have their successes, we always check ours and where we are right now. It’s not uncommon to know all these things because it’s our automatic synchronization to the fact that we all need to be successful either 1. to have a better life, obviously, 2. to prove to others you are capable of doing so, 3. to be as great as the people we see on television. You might disagree on number 3, and I’m no psychologist to prove you I’m right, but this is actually a personal take on what success really is. Besides, the list goes on.
On some points of life, we pause and contemplate on the distance we’ve walked through from the time we started striving hard, and look on to the distance to take before we get to our own personal success. This is where we get it hard, the perplexed state of being in the middle of the journey.
Am I there yet? Do I need to continue this? How far am I now?
So you ponder and generate a field of thought about the whereabouts of yourself, and sometimes you get to the point where you ask yourself, am I the only one struggling in this cruel life? ( I know, so many questions and I’m freaking out too) it’s always too straightforward when we question ourselves if we’re alone in this arena of madness and it confuses us big time why others are far less complex about getting their success right while you sulk in and can’t even walk a straight line. But it’s troubling to note that in this matter, you’re the only one who gets the badder life.
The human brain is a very beautiful creation, yet so complex and disturbingly complicated. Picture this: I sit here writing a very complicated topic while two girls beside me are down to their noses computing a very difficult Maths equation (I only glanced once). I don’t have anything against Maths equation, really, but question is, why are they so good at things I consider horrors of life?
Validation
I get it, I’m not good at numbers, but hey, so does almost half of the people sitting here in this cozy cafe. When we’re on a crisis of life, either between having to pay all the bills or not hitting the work goal set, we tend to forget that others are experiencing the same dillema too (or worse, aamof). This is the mindset that we should learn when we’re actually down and depressed at things we can’t get through. Not just this, we should be circulated by people that will pat us on the shoulder or validate us that they’re also getting all crazy at certain matters and that you are not alone. It’s validation that pulls us through the stigma and convert these to a psychological soundness called “growth mindset“. It’s a pretty hard labyrinth understanding, but when people, say a group of friends, tell you you’re not the only person to ever suffer like this (validation), and you accept the fact that you can sort this out (growth mindset), there is physical and mental peace at whichever you want to go.
Calculating your status
As you may have noticed (or not), I have not used the word “failure” in this article because 1. the society wants us to believe that not succeeding is failing, and 2. failure is anything but a disgrace, and nobody should ever feel disgraced at trying (except Mulan, in the beginning, for looking like a bride but will never be bringing her family honor).
I know I’ve said at the start of this writing journey that I have doubts making this piece, but I know it will release all the tensions I have for the past weeks. I’ve been contemplating about my work status myself and I’m actually mindblown about the things I learned when we were having our monthly group wellness session with our counselor. So yeah, I’m also in the midst of bombarding myself these silly questions I italized. However, it’s good to actually have a counselor to talk about all these things and you know, have someone to validate all the gritty confusions you have, not just because it’s their job to, but because they have spent quite a lot of time studying and understanding the mental complicacy of the human being.
Anyways, if you think you’re not getting things right now, an expert would say, “work hard more, push yourself a little, you can get it in time”, and it’s not bad if you actually work hard more, but I would say, “don’t keep your problems up to yourself, be open to possibilities that you may, or may not get it this time, and, you’re doing great.”
paperburps 